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Rekollekshuns of a Skoolmaster

This is an online copy of Rekollekshuns of a Skoolmaster by James Barrie, Esq. M.A. ASS. LLD. &c.

My deer Editir. The skool i got was a verrie smal wun, their beeing onli aboot seventi pewpuls inn it. The ministir of the toon was sed too bee a goode precher sow i went too heer him on the furst sabath o the munth. I went erly & their were onli wun person their, whoo I saw was a n'elder. (x. quse me makin a punne butt I thinc between the ministir an the elder, the ministir was the elder of the too).

I sed too hymn, whenne does "service" biggin ? Thee mann staired; When dus "service" biggin ? I agin axed To mi surprize thee elder x. clamed, "What abomnabul impurtnense" pray sur doo yoo no our respected minister. Mee no hymn: know sed i. "Then get out of this hee replyed. Yoo impurnant skoundral get out o this. & if I sea you hear ajane Ill kick yoo out miself. Ar coarse I wus grately astonished at thee mannn. not noing anythink, I had sed about the minister, But it struck mee all at wince that the ministir's name was "Service" & the mann had thought I ment the ministir hymnself when I axed when "Service" kommenced. I went back & made it u.p. with thee young elder, an many a time I've had a glasse of - a - a - a - milk in his house since.

The next dai i axed a leetle boi what was the meenin o the term "Man is mortal"?. "He's awfu drunk" sure wus the repli. Sai suree me my boi what an impression to com out with. I didn't understood him at furst butt afterwards I found oot that when a man was very mutch extocksikated. it was a comin expressin that hee wus mortal -. On too munths the Summer Holy-dais arrived, an' I went a trip over a ston. & then on to a the north in the ileand of sky. a lofty plaise lookin down on the shoals o waves on th atlantick oshun. I enjoyed it fine. only a blamed old comvangelist was sinjin in u voise fit to ?? a blin ass: but I offered him a 1/2 of whuskey taw stop. so he took th whuskey & went his wai. I visited lots of othur palaces becide ski, but as Im busy writin tae the "Contemporary Revew" & the yung ladais jurnal" &c, I will tell you more in my next munths rekollekshuns. So deer Cloun fur the present munth -
Good-bye I am Yours
a Skoolmaster - !